’t know I was a member of this ‘them.’Three different ways that my life has been better since starting to come to terms with this:1. I have benefited a ton from reading articles in Tradition and online and feel more comfortable putting on developed a better relationship with my family.
While I was hiding, I think that I was hiding more of myself from my family than they deserved for me to hide.
What’s there to want, what’s to be gained from some kind of meeting like this?
If I had to make just a single request: To think about the differences between the ‘uses’ and the ‘, my professors who I emailed and asked if they could come support me and with a lot of encouragement they told me they would all be here, I have family here and friends- thank you for all coming.
More – a little more able to cope with it in some ways.
I remember before telling anybody or really just talking to my therapist being asked ‘what comes next’ and I could envision nothing. The whole future that we hope for- raising a family and raising a family of Jewish existence all melted away- I could imagine no future that would be there.
As a lot of you probably know, I’m a student at Yeshiva University. Usually I’m happy, engaging, affable, confident and secure. I always knew I was different- ’t consider myself to be homosexual till I was 18. When I was 4 I had this indigo winter jacket- my siblings and cousins would always use to make fun of me and I would say no, it’s blue, told me so.
I do remember that jacket and how much anxiety I felt.
I trust it won’t be necessary to ask someone to cooperate. (Thunderous applause.), there’s a lot of people here. Okay, I guess no better place to start than at the beginning.
I really really hope that I’ll be able to maintain control. First of all, thank you very much to all of the institutions that allowed for this to happen- to the University, Rabbi , moderators and safety nets, maybe- we’ll see how that goes as we go- thanks to everyone for coming.
There are faces that I see in this room who I have relationships with before the last 30 seconds and I haven’t had the chance to talk about this part of myself and I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to talk to you yet if it’s surprising- we can talk about it later, find me on . In some ways I actually suspect my story is a bit unlike some of the other panelists that you are about to hear because I don’t think I ever had the courage to admit to myself that I was gay.
I’m from Toronto originally, went to been on dates with (laughter) but really for all my teen years and my 20s I was not in any way prepared to admit to myself that I was attracted to members of the same sex.
If we lose control, unfortunately, I’ll have no option but to simply end the program. It’s exciting to be able to dialogue with you, think with you, talk with you about this part of ourselves.