He senses that his enthusiasm for sex is far greater than yours, and knows this won’t play out well in the long run.
He senses that your enthusiasm for sex is far greater than his.
In the meantime, an endless panoply of potentially better choices are just a swipe, click or happy hour mixer away. If you think this is lame and stupid, I wholeheartedly agree. In my naïveté, I even considered one of the ladies to be marriage material. ANTIDOTE: This is not the kind of thing you can prevent or control. The key take-away from this is that you should not take such vanishings personally.
As a result, nobody’s willing to invest a whole hell of a lot of themselves in anything. I also urge you to stop doing it yourself, so at the very least you’re part of the solution, not the problem. In the space of one week, one’s aunt died, and the other one’s father committed suicide by drinking Drano. Now, if you’re already pretty well-bonded, these catastrophic events may even make you seek solace and support in one another, strengthening your bond. after first date), it just blows things apart like a roadside improvised explosive device. Even when you’re 100% sure it’s about you, it’s almost never about you.
And if his interest in you is limited from the start, then things can only go so far. Communicate with the fellow as clearly and directly as possible to find out what he’s looking for in a relationship: “So, what are you looking for in a relationship? ” Your senses are on high alert, and you just can’t wait to pounce. Here was the lion, with its advanced hunting software doing what it’s been doing for eons… Now he has to rethink the whole situation, perhaps totally losing interest in this particular gazelle.
” Imagine you’re a lion on the African savanna, stalking a gazelle. Then, suddenly, the gazelle sees you from the corner of its eye, turns around, and starts galloping towards you at full speed. This is not how things are supposed to go — I’m supposed to be the one chasing! Much simpler to deal with the script he’s familiar and prepared to deal with: Lion chase. This one has happened to me a lot, and it operates at such a primal, unconscious level that even I myself marvel at the speed and vehemence with which I lose interest when she starts chasing me more than I’m chasing her.
When were you planning on taking me out again, big boy? Then I met this really cute, supersmart adventurous grad student at a party. But if we’re going to continue, I like to have depth in my relationships, and it’s difficult to get deep with you if I know there are other women involved.
” Then step back, and wait for him to do something. If he doesn’t, give it a couple of days, then try again. We hit it off, the sex was amazing, and now there were four. So if you’d like to keep seeing the other women, that’s fine, and I’ll miss you a lot, but I’ll have to bow out.
But somehow, for some bizarre, primal reason, once they started chasing me I just couldn’t be interested anymore.
Keep in mind that there’s also a positive motive here.
Or, 95.4% of the time, he’s just thinking, hey, there’s an outside chance I could get laid here. If you want steady boyfriend leading to marriage and 2.3 kids and he wants Wednesday Arm Candy #3, we have a mismatch.