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On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate. Well, Ole is ecstatic, but he has never (vell ya know) before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. He teaches Ole everything there is to know about protection and (vell ya know).

"And vunce in a while I'll try ta chip in a few bucks myself." ---------------------- Ole and Lena got married.

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So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries.

The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.

At the register, the pharmacist asks Ole how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack.

Ole insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.

Three minutes of praying pass and still no movement from Ole. ---------------------------- Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing.

Finally, after five minutes of praying with his head down, Lena leans over and whispers to her Ole, "I had no idea you vere so religious." Ole turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father vas a pharmacist." ----------------------------- Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. " "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN." ---------------------------- Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe? As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice." Ole an Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. I'm the ice rink attendant." --------------------------- Lars: "Ole, stand in fronna my car and tell me if da turn signals are vorking".

Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'." The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? ' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole.

If its money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. Boat for sale.' " --------------------------- Ole and Sven were taking a vacation in Sven's new camper.

"Well", bellowed the cop, "I clocked you doing FIFTY!

" At that point, Lena, sitting in the back seat and trying to be helpful, spoke up.

Ole said, "We better mark dis spot so ve can come back tomorrow and catch more fish." Sven then proceeded to mark the bottom of the boat with a large 'X'.

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