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It is also worth noting that most often discuss this from the point of view of a man contacting a woman, since that was my experience, but my hope is that the thoughts here are helpful to anyone.

This discussion is primarily for sites such as where you write the online dating first message yourself (see more on how works if you’re not familiar with what I’m referring to).

For example, in the Profile 3, creating an invitation to have a drink that looked like a travel itinerary might work well if she had mentioned enjoying creativity or if her profile was very creative.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in following “rules” that our online dating first messages don’t end up reflecting us very well and…

I would write overly long and, in my head, witty emails that very rarely received responses. My rule here is very simple: keep your first email very short.

Once, I wrote no less than two pages based on a girl’s heading to her profile. I thought I was making conversation but all I was making was a girl scared. Give anything longer than three sentences a good, hard look before sending.

You can learn more details on my thoughts on this service in my article on How e Harmony Works.

No matter what service you choose, I hope my advice here will help you with your first messages.

As I’ve said, in online dating a first message can have a huge affect, but what helps the most?

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