When you do impose yourself where the BW and her children and extended family and friends are, you will feel the scarlet letter that you wear burning in your chest no matter how high you try to hold your head. You and your stolen spouse will fight over this more than you can imagine in the years to come. When he starts to pull away from you and works late more, or isn’t insatiable in bed with you anymore, or cuts his hair a new way you are going to be terrified.
You are going to be terrified because you know exactly what he might be doing next. Now, you get to feel the pain of being a BW doubled by the pain of realizing exactly what you did to someone else.
And when they are not able to process their world being shattered and all the conflicting messages about right and wrong, you will get to deal with all their issues and mistakes and anger as they grow up.
You will have to know all the while that whatever is happening is a direct result of your selfishness.
You are likely to have his kids hating your guts forever.
This means that every holiday, school concert, soccer game, big family event like graduations and weddings, and grandkids (yes, it will last that far and long) will be sources of conflict instead of happy times.
Let me appeal to your sense of selfishness then and tell you what you personally are going to suffer in the years to come… Someone who didn’t like what they had at home so they went looking for something better. It doesn’t really matter who started it, who lied more, it doesn’t even really matter if you were tricked into a relationship not knowing he was married at first. You now have a spouse who gave up one family and chose you and yours. The minute things go wrong, and face it, in all marriages there are these times, he is going to be looking at you and wondering if you were worth it. Now you get to be insecure and feel like you are always fighting to be worth it to him.
You are going to be labeled as the bitch for the entire rest of your life.
“My perspective is from that of the other woman (OW) who became the new wife. You will get to be responsible for destroying the life of another woman.
You will get to be responsible for destroying the lives of all children involved. They are sponges and take in everything around them whether they are capable of processing it or not.
You are going to hear and know that you should have known better and have the old adages about cheaters thrown in your face over and over. No one gets married thinking that their spouse will cheat. I promise that you are not different or better somehow. You will not be able to look at your spouse and feel the same way you once did.
You will not be able to come somewhere like these boards for support because they are going to crucify you! Occasionally an affair partner will grow a conscience and want to be a good person and here is what happens… And you will have one heck of a time trying to forgive yourself. All of your memories of when you first met, your first kiss, the early days of your relationship will be tainted.
Investigators found no signs of forced entry, but they did find spent shell casings inside and outside the house.