Incidentally, one of her friends visited us and hinted that my wife is “not as simple as she pretends to be”. That kind of probing is guaranteed to make any relationship worse.
As of today I’ve planned to post questions about her past relationship(s) in the confessions page of her school. However, there’s another aspect to this in your case.
My father has recently taunted her with this overheard info first time in three years. At the same time I can’t drive away the visions of her having sex before marriage with another man.
I find myself wondering about the details like how she managed to have sex before marriage with anyone in a small town, how deeply in love she must’ve been to have disregarded the most important family restriction, whether she gave him farewell sex etc.
That’s something you have a right to protect yourself against. Then mention to her that, at the same time you don’t want to receive info about her past life from outsiders and look like a fool.
So the middle ground here is to know only as much as is necessary, and in this case you have a right to demand that information from your wife. Tell her first that you love her as she is, and that you have realized that finding out intricate details about her past life is not going to help your relationship. Between the two of you, you might have issues (every couple has).
But to outsiders, you must put up a joint front – you must look like one inseparable unit.
Hence you need to know at least what others know – i.e. Believe me Anon, you do not need to know any more than this to ward off well-meaning hints and suggestions from outsiders.
Their parents and extended families have absolutely none.
But each Indian family works in its own complicated way (don’t take it personally, I know “we’re like that only”;)).
I understand it might be impossible for you to convey this to your parents in as many words.
If that’s the case, tell them politely (not in front of your wife, of course) that if they have any questions about your wife, they can ask you, not her, and not in front of her.
And their interference in it is entirely unwelcome.