With that in mind I wanted to review one of the recent emails I’ve received from a reader and offer some additional advice for this problem.
First off let me say that many men keep their profiles active even though they are interested in the woman they are regularly dating.
I’m really open to everything you say, Evan, but I never meet any good men! It’s certainly frustrating to want to prioritize your love life, but not have the opportunity to meet any new men on a day-to-day basis. The reason you’re single is simply that you haven’t met the right guy – and yet you have no idea where he’s coming along. Before you tune out or run away screaming, hear me out. In fact, any evidence that I provide that contradicts you is only going to make you believe in your original premise more. Yes, you’re hardwired to be stubborn and, as such, you can easily fall victim to “the confirmation bias”, which seeks out information which only reaffirms what you already believe (biting my tongue on the obvious Fox News joke…) So, if you have dated online and discovered the following: • Men sometimes lie. You think that 90% of men online are “wrong” for you. But so are 90% of men in bars, on buses, or in Starbucks.
This lack of opportunity, above all, is the main reason that you’re not in love now. If you have high standards, MOST men are not going to be to your liking. I’m not a corporate shill for the online dating industry.
I haven’t said one word about it since but I am wondering how long to wait.
Addressing the Active Profile Issue with Tact First off, let me say that this guy’s “reason” for keeping his profile online makes absolutely no sense to me.
Men are slower to commit and many also need their ego “stroked”.
They like having women contacting them…even if they are rejecting all of them as it makes them feel desirable.
You decided to meet and on your first date things go great.
You enjoy each others’ company, enjoy the same things and over the next month or so you start to date more seriously. However there is one problem: his dating profile is still active.
If you think this is annoying I definitely understand but I would still encourage tact when you try to resolve this issue.