04/14/09 "John: Examine Problem Sleuth Poster." Is it even possible to get any more hard boiled than that? 04/14/09 "John: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk." This is the dumbest idea you've had in weeks!!! 04/14/09 "John: Use hammer/nails on poster." You use the HAMMER and NAILS card IN CONJUNCTION with the card beneath it. You guess maybe this is one respect in which the cards present some convenience.
04/14/09 "John: Nail poster to wall." You use the HAMMER, NAILS, and POSTER on the blank space on the wall. 04/17/09 "John: Examine Game Bro Magazine." 04/17/09 "John: Read article." 04/17/09 "John: Captchalogue Game Bro." It might come in handy if you ever need something that burns easily.
Really it probably would have been tidier if you just used a broom and dustpan.
04/18/09 "John: Admire harlequins." You check out the shelves of FANCIFUL HARLEQUINS. It doesn't matter that it's April and not terribly chilly outside.
In a home, a FIREPLACE needs a fire, because that's what FIREPLACE is for.
You don't care what COLONEL SASSACRE says, that makes it AT LEAST a million percent funnier.
04/20/09 "John: Inspect burnt paper on the floor." You put this back in the fire where it belongs. " "When two great forces oppose each other, the victory will go to the one that knows how to yield." -Oscar Wilde Wise words by a man who likely could resist everything but temptation. 04/30/09 "John: Abscond." Now that DAD is busy placating the SMOKE DETECTOR, you can safely sneak away. 05/07/09 "John: Get razor." 05/07/09 "John: Pick up package again." Let's take this from the top.
04/14/09 "John: Examine contents of chest." In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER. Among the ARTIFACTS are: TWO (2) FAKE ARMS [CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], ONE (1) PAIR OF TRICK HANDCUFFS, ONE (1) STUNT SWORD, ONE (1) MAGICIAN'S HAT, ONE (1) PAIR OF BEAGLE PUSS GLASSES, SEVERAL (~) SMOKE PELLETS, SEVERAL (~) BLOOD CAPSULES, and ONE (1) COPY OF COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY, and ONE (1) COPY OF HARRY ANDERSON'S "WISE GUY", BY MIKE CAVENEY. 04/15/09 "John: Examine incoming message." You pull up to your COMPUTER. You decorated your desktop with some rather handsome WALLPAPER which you made yourself. Your desktop is also littered with various PROGRAMMING PROJECT FILES. 04/15/09 "John: Open Pesterchum." Only one of your CHUMS is logged in. 04/15/09 "John: Open message." |PESTERLOG| -- turntech Godhead 04/15/09 "John: Look out window." You see the view of your yard from your window. In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle. The red flippy-lever thing means you have new mail. 04/15/09 "John: Go outside and check mailbox." You are about to hurry down stairs when you hear a car pull into the driveway. You decide to chill out up here for a while until the dust settles.
You will have to use the pellets first in order to access the arms. 04/16/09 "John: Allocate hammer to strife specibus." You check the back of your STRIFE SPECIBUS for the KIND ABSTRATUS you have in mind for it.
A fire BELONGS in a FIREPLACE, dammit, cata(ptcha)gorically, at all times, without exception.
As domestic myth of unaccountable origin holds, a home borrows the spirit of the flame for as long as it makes a guest of it, much as the moon takes liberty with the sun's rays.
You were never all that great with data structures and you find the concept puzzling and mildly irritating. You've been meaning to hang another poster there soon. The FAKE ARMS are pushed entirely out of the deck!!! In any case, you now feel like you have gathered enough things to get down to business and do some really important stuff. 04/14/09 "John: Combine the nails and hammer." You MERGE the top two cards. 04/14/09 "John: Examine Deep Impact poster." Morgan Freeman's genteel, homespun mannerisms were perfect qualities for a president residing over a crisis. 04/16/09 "John: Report progress to TG." |PESTERLOG| 04/17/09 "John: Captchalogue Colonel's big book." Now that you've got some space in your SYLLADEX to work with, you figure you might as well start squandering it immediately.