It was like I was tuning out all of the advice I needed to hear until one day I heard it because I was ready to listen.My husband was not forcing me to enable him; I was taking it upon myself to help him because I felt bad for him and I loved him.
I try to address their needs and personalize the advice for them and then … Most women are not ready to hear that When I was married to an addict, the only advice I hoped to hear from my therapist and from other support people was that I could do “X, Y, and Z” and that would help me fix my husband and his addiction.
I wanted to know that living with an addict was possible, and that he could change.
Please keep your head up, keep me posted, I am here to help! When we first met i must admit that i used to do the same, but as time has gone on and i have got older, i have stopped and want to try and sort out my life. i feel to embarrassed to tell F&Family, so lie about things being good.
Best, Amanda Andruzzi, published author, Hope Street, a memoir from a co-addict I've just stumbled across this site - I'm sitting here now and my BF has gone on a binge again. I feel guilty about this, as feel like i encouraged it at the beginning. I must be an enabler, i wanted to save him - but perhaps that isn't possible! Thank you Amanda for your blog, I have found it very helpful to read.
In the article, “8 Signs You are a Co-addict“, we discussed many types of enabling. I thought about this for a while and tried to put myself in their shoes.
Whichever type you engage in, there are consequences to each. In fact, we try to respond to all legitimate questions or comments with a personal and prompt response. When they are reading online for answers and posting their frustrations and their stories they are usually in a crisis situation, either the addict is binging on drugs, disappeared, or done some other inexcusable act.
If you change your life and start doing things that bring back your self-confidence then it is less likely you will want to repair him.
Addiction is a selfish condition because it usually involves the complete attention of more people than just the addict.
The loneliness fades as you become enlightened and pick up the pieces of the person you were and put them back together.
I hope the articles here can help you as well as the book, I would really like to hear your thoughts when you finish Hope Street.
In terms of addiction, enabling has a negative connotation.