If they can’t care, then therapy is just another game. He became very infatuated with one and even opened a business for her.
Shopping trips for strippers and other women, and I was never allowed to spend a dime, I just figured he was a tight wad, but I at the time did not mind saving for our family and future.
He meant to call another woman he had just met out.
I found social networks, emails, voice mails, pictures (he took them of himself too and they are so vain and sexual), and as I got better at researching I found the disgusting porn sites he paid for, the disgusting male friends he engaged in devaluing women with, the awful and false portrayal he made of me to others.
I found his secret password to open documents and read his letters to and from the other women, listing details of their activities.
I have posted here several times, but have never shared my story. Mine did not end with my husband caring enough to get help and change his ways. When I got the phone call he did not recognize my voice or that he had dialed me, even repeated him self when I said “what?
He skipped work a lot (he was an executive), so when I thought he was working or working late, or on a business trip, he was really out with others or at his strip clubs.
They just never said anything because they had no proof, they just felt it. I was horrified, I insisted he get help, he went one time, said the therapist said he had a lot of issues, he came clean with everyone, seemed sincere, ate crow, all the things you would expect, and I thought well he’ll not lie again, he is remorseful, he was traumatized by his wife leaving, etc.
When I found out he was married that first year and confronted him, the reason he said he lied was that the woman who introduced us had gone out with him and he had never told her he was married. etc…made excuses for who I thought was a normal person who made grave mistakes. I did not know people could lie daily and pretend so well…..
I now know that there are real monsters that have no empathy and no conscience.
So fast forward into eleven years of marriage, and as each year went by he seemed to become more and more irrational and mean.
Turns out everyone at his company knows he was a player.