But when the man with whom you're involved is part of another couple, someone else's husband, then the challenge and unpredictability can make your life a messy, unhappy waiting game that you will rarely win.
The woman who is in love with a married man lives a life that, for the most part, is shrouded in secrecy.
Let your friends know that you still want to go out with them regularly.
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In many ways they can seem more mature, attractive and have their lives more together than their shambolic single counterparts. Too many nights of looking stunning in your new outfit only to be admired by the cat as you’re let down yet again. In the unlikely event of being seen out anywhere by anyone he knows, you will be introduced as his niece/ cousin/ babysitter. If he has kids it’s highly unlikely he wants more, even though your imagination is working overtime dreaming of your own little family together. You can never just phone him when you’re having a bad day.
And sadly, as some grow bored of what they have at home, there’s apparently no shortage of them looking to cheat. As well as the big, glaring explanations for avoiding these – feeling bad about yourself and playing a part in ruining a relationship and possibly a family – there’s other things that will leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
You need to step back and identify the priorities -- your priorities -- in a relationship with a married man. Ensuring you have a life distinct from his that is your safe haven can make being the other woman, if not a secure, permanent position, at least one that is a bit more tolerable.
*name changed Kristen Houghton is the author of the hilarious new book, No Woman Diets Alone - There's Always a Man Behind Her Eating a Doughnut in the top 10 hot new releases at Amazon available now on Kindle, Nook, and all e-book venues. Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First" is ranked in the top 100 books by Tower You may email her at [email protected]
Her close circle of friends might know about her affair, but she really cannot let anyone else, such as colleagues or her family, know.
She is alone most of the time and spends it waiting: waiting for her married lover to call, to come meet her, to share some precious time together. Whatever the reason it’s unlikely that there will be a happy ever after as you’ll never ever be able to trust him.The word dating brings sparkle in the eyes of anyone who is young or young at heart. You will first notice a smile and the eyes rolling up.Simply because he talks in a negative way about his marriage doesn't mean that his obligations to his wife are any less important to him. No matter how much you may want to walk in the sunshine with him and have him openly acknowledge his love for you, it won't happen. Planning to be together becomes a fascinating game and is thrilling to say the least.Whether or not they have children is a moot point; he will always feel as if he has to be a husband to her and take care of the marriage, whether he truly loves her or not. While he is more than willing to be your lover and to bring you gifts, he is not about to have you meet his friends and risk having his family find out about you. No matter how nice a guy he is, you are a temporary diversion for him. Stealing hours from work or home to have sex is exciting, and you may mistake his libido-driven passion for undying love. The game soon becomes a chore for him, and romantic interludes are just one more thing he "has to do." 4. Less than 5 percent of men leave their wives for the woman with whom they are having an affair.Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. As my friend Jenna* told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with.