A recent study looked into why older women — in this case, women in their 60s and 70s — date. Some had lost satisfying relationships because the men wanted to get married but the women didn’t, sometimes because it would hurt them financially and sometimes because they didn’t want to have to care for anyone else anymore.
This is why there are a of false positives in online dating. I have confided in my best female friend, who’s in a relationship. When I expressed the amount I get rejected, she was taken aback, and said “Women are silly – and that’s coming from a feminist”. I hear this a from people who believe that they’re the kings of compartmentalization, who believe that they have mastered the poker face and have so squeezed their negative attitude down that nobody ever sees it. This whole Harvey Weinstein thing has, rightly, exposed a gender inequality in which women frequently feel sexually endangered.
You may get along great from the other side of a monitor, but once you’re sitting in front of one another… now you’re just struggling to get through the date in the first place. Before I continue, let me emphasise that I have given none of the below views, or expressed any kind of negativity, on any of my dates. As a man, I realise my privilege in being able to confidently walk alone after a night out, and meet strangers without feeling threatened. There is literally nothing good that’s going to come of this. with a corresponding problem for men that manifests itself differently – less of the frequent and acute annoyance, danger and fear that faces women, but the following (not even an exhaustive list): Alright my dude, you wanted to know about how to address this negative mindset. well, with a lot of these, you’re so off that you don’t even manage to be . – A chronic, never-ending state of being ignored by women in social settings; – Being effectively invisible to every woman you see in public; So I’m going to take these two together because either you’re repeating yourself or you’re conflating things in ways that only make sense to you.
She believes — and I agree — that more people need to talk openly about this because all older women hear (and thus believe) is that older men are them from the 50-something dating pool ASAP; I’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! As a newly single woman after an eight-plus year relationship, I am curious about what to expect this time, now that I’m 50-something instead of 40-something.
I, too, am not looking for a husband (although I’m not necessarily against marrying), but I most definitely would like a partner — uhh, with conditions.
So scrub up and snap on the gloves; it’s time to get all up in them guts.
Doctor Nerd Love, I need your advice to get me out of a very negative mindset.
Sometimes the answer is more nuanced than normal or requires cutting through a Gordian knot of related issues.
But, occasionally, I’ll get a letter from a reader that requires a deeper and more thorough dive than the usual request for advice.
Here’s what’s happened in the past year — two girlfriends have gotten engaged, and one has her condo on the market and is looking with her boyfriend to buy a new place and move in together. So, because of that and the fact that we live longer, she says, it’s worth putting the time and energy into looking for love regardless of your age.
They are all 50-something, empty-nesters and divorced. The difference between men and women at this age, however, is that we don’t necessarily want the same things.
The persistent belief is that women are looking for long-term committed relationship and men are looking for short-term sexual relationships.